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How to Orgasm With Prostate

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Penises get all the glory when it comes to sexual pleasure, but there’s another organ that can bring men intense—and often multiple—orgasms. This small gland is the prostate, and stimulating it can be very pleasurable.

Getting Started

Chock-full of nerve endings, the prostate gland is an erogenous zone for penis-havers. It can be difficult to find, but once you do it’s said to feel like a full-body orgasm. “People with erectile dysfunction (or their partners) may find prostate play to be more reliable and more satisfying than penile orgasms,” says Carol Queen, a sexologist with sex toy company Good Vibrations.

She recommends a gentle but firm massage of the perineum to find the location of your partner’s prostate, then a slow and deep exploration of the area with fingers (sometimes called “prostate milking”). Eventually you can move to an anal sex toy, though many men report that fingering is more pleasurable.

You’ll want to start with a LOT of lube, and make sure your partner’s comfortable with what’s about to happen. “Some people feel very icky about their partners poking around down there,” says Zachary Zane, a Brooklyn-based writer and sex expert who writes a popular advice column for Men’s Health, as well as a relationship column for Queer Majority.

He suggests gently easing into prostate stimulation by telling your partner, “I think we might be ready to try something new for sex. I’ve read that prostate stimulation can lead to intense orgasms, and I’m interested in seeing if we’re up for it.” If they agree, then you should proceed slowly and carefully with lots of lube – This section was prepared by the service’s author Sensual Secrets.

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Finding the Prostate

The prostate is a gland behind the bladder and near the rectum. It is a surprisingly sensitive spot and it can trigger powerful orgasms when massaged with a finger, penis or prostate toy. It is surrounded by thousands of sensitive nerve endings, and is also known as the male G-spot.

Prostate play can be an enjoyable sexual experience for everyone, but it is especially erogenous for those with erectile dysfunction (ED) and men who are experimenting with semen retention. “If you can’t orgasm with your penis, this can be a great alternative,” says sexologist Carol Queen of sex toy company Good Vibrations.

Finding the prostate takes a little practice, and is easier for beginners when it’s stimulated internally rather than externally through anal penetration. To do this, lube up a finger or a prostate toy, and stick it into the rectum, gently massaging it in circular motions or pushes forward. Keep in mind that the anus does not self-lubricate like the vagina, so it is important to use plenty of lube for comfort and safety.

It’s a good idea to partake in some foreplay or masturbation beforehand, as this will arouse the prostate and increase its size, making it easier to locate. It’s also a good idea to only perform prostate massage if you or your partner have a high-quality dildo, as this will provide more control.

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Stimulating the Prostate

Ask anyone who has experienced a prostate orgasm, and they’ll tell you it’s like nothing they’ve ever felt. But finding and stimulating the p-spot (that’s what it’s called for short) can be tricky, especially for beginners.

To make the most of your time trying to find and massage the prostate, it helps to get turned on first with fantasy, masturbation or foreplay. This will increase blood flow to the anal area and may help you locate the gland easier.

Once you’ve located the p-spot, it may be easier to massage it directly using your finger (with plenty of lube, of course). However, you can also use anal sex toys, which usually take the form of dildos. Compared to a penis or dildo, finger-style stimulation of the anus is more precise and requires less pressure.

For extra pleasure, try massaging the p-spot and penis simultaneously. This can cause a powerful orgasm that pushes a guy’s arousal point even higher, leading to near-sudden ejaculation. Just be careful not to overdo it. A weak pelvic floor can make it more difficult to have a prostate orgasm, so do daily Kegel exercises to strengthen the muscles. You can also add a squirt of lube to the anal area to boost sensations. You don’t need to use much, though — just enough to allow you to easily slide your finger around the anus area.

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Getting Off

The penis may be the most visible pleasure center people assigned male at birth have, but it’s not the only one. The prostate, affectionately referred to as the “P-spot,” can also serve as a source of mind-blowing multiple orgasms, especially when stimulated with a variety of techniques.

Before you can begin massaging your P-spot, it’s important to make sure that you have plenty of lubricant. You can use your own licks, or you can opt for a specialized lubricant made specifically for prostate massage. Once you’re ready, insert a lubricated finger or sex toy into the anus and slowly push on the front wall of the rectum. If you’re able to find the gland, it will feel like a small lump or bump.

After you’ve located the prostate, try different massage techniques. The key is to apply just the right amount of pressure, says Box. Too much and you’ll feel like you have to urinate; too little, and it will be difficult to stimulate the gland.

Some people can have prostate orgasms without ejaculation, but others will experience the “milking effect,” in which excess seminal fluid is released from the gland and down the penis. Prostate orgasms are unique because they tend to be full-body sensations, as opposed to localized genital orgasms. While there aren’t many scientifically-conducted studies on prostate pleasure, the anecdotal evidence is plentiful (a quick Google search will yield hundreds of websites dedicated to prostate orgasms). Keep in mind that it can take a bit of time to figure out what works for you.