Woman Lying on Bed

Ruined Orgasms

For those unfamiliar with the kink, it might seem strange that some people enjoy deliberately ruining orgasms. But it’s actually a popular method for asserting dominance in BDSM play.

It involves slowing, stopping, or even denying an orgasm just as it’s about to occur. It’s similar to edging, but whereas edging focuses on building pleasure, ruined orgasms are all about control.

What Is an Orgasm?

An orgasm is a sexually satisfying full or partial climax that occurs during sexual intercourse. It can be caused by any stimuli that causes arousal, but it’s most commonly associated with erotic play or sex. A ruined orgasm is one that stops before reaching full climax due to interruption or deferment. Ruined orgasms are often a part of kink play, and they can be intentionally elicited to explore power dynamics.

Some people even fetishize ruined orgasms. They like the build-up and arousal that comes with being close to a climax but being denied it. For instance, a Reddit thread about the experience compares it to waiting for pizza delivery only to have the driver drive off without bringing you your order.

The dom may tease and punish the sub until they are on the verge of a ruined orgasm, then cease stimulation and let the natural reflexes of their body take over. To enhance the effect, the dom might use their fingers to graze erogenous zones or talk dirty. The dom should also experiment with different hang times, as longer waits can lead to some of the most intense ruined orgasms.

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What Is a Ruined Orgasm?

Some people who enjoy BDSM play really love the sensation of a ruined orgasm. This is when your partner teases you to the point of orgasm, but then abruptly stops stimulation just as you’re close to climax. The experience is intense, largely because of the prolonged heightened arousal levels that occur during the build-up and then the sudden stop. Many people who like this kink say it helps them learn their own body’s physical point of no return, which can be helpful in both orgasm and non-orgasm related activities.

For the dominant, there’s likely a lot of satisfaction in knowing that they can ruin their submissive partner’s orgasm on purpose. It’s also a way for them to really feel in control and be in charge of the bottom’s pleasure.

It may seem a bit risky to some, but ruined orgasms can be very safe as long as you and your partner discuss expectations, boundaries, and safety ahead of time. If you’re interested in trying this kink, there are plenty of online resources and groups that can help connect you with others who also have an interest in it.

What Is a Power Play Orgasm?

For some kink lovers, ruined orgasms are part of a fetish. This form of control, domination and power play can be a deeply pleasurable experience for the people into it. “The denial of pleasure is an incredibly satisfying feeling for some people,” Rucifer explains.

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Ruined orgasms can be done by anyone in any BDSM role, and there are many ways to do it. For example, doms can tease their sub with kissing or grazing the nipples and neck. They can also use toys that will make the experience more intense like a Lovers Wonder Wand. They can also use their hands in a variety of ways to build up erotic tension like fingering, giving a handjob and giving light slapping.

It’s important that both parties involved in the ruined orgasm game communicate clearly and establish safe words so that the experience can be stopped at any time with no questions asked, says Skyler. It’s also a good idea to have an educational session with a trusted kink expert so both participants can learn how to play this type of kink safely and responsibly.

What Is a Ruined Power Play Orgasm?

There are many ways to enjoy an orgasm, from clitoral orgasms to skin orgasms, but there is one kind of orgasm that some people derive pleasure from — ruined orgasms. According to sexologists, some people enjoy the experience of getting close to an orgasm but not actually reaching it. This is a form of eroticism called ruined orgasm play and it’s becoming increasingly popular in BDSM scenes.

Ruined orgasms can be unintentional, such as when something distracts you from arousal, or intentional, such as during power play where the dominant arouses their submissive to the point of an orgasm but then backs off stimulation. This results in a low-grade orgasm for the submissive.

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For a ruined orgasm to be satisfying for both parties, communication is key and it’s important for the submissive to let their partner know what they need in order to reach orgasm. For example, they may want to be teased and touched before or during the orgasm, or they might require a specific amount of hang time in order to achieve a high-grade orgasm.

What Is a Ruined Submission Orgasm?

A ruined submission orgasm involves a submissive being denied pleasure just as they are about to experience an orgasm. As a form of kink play, it can be extremely satisfying for those who enjoy power roleplay and orgasm control. “It’s about the amazing build-up and then the disappointment of the letdown,” says one sexpert.

To set up a ruined submission orgasm, the dom may slow down the action and tease the slave until he feels like he is about to orgasm. Then, the dom can stop all stimulation and restrict his flow of semen. This is often done by squeezing the base of the penis or just below the head, which can lead to little or no semen ejaculating.

For those who really enjoy this type of kink, they can even use a device called a urethral sound to prevent the sub from hearing the orgasm coming and thereby avoiding the sensation entirely. This is a VERY intense form of kink play that shouldn’t be taken lightly or on the fly without educating yourself and your partner first.