How to Have an Orgasm With a Vibrator

Learning how to have an orgasm with a vibrator can feel daunting. It doesn’t have to be, though.

Different people need to do different things to turn on themselves, but most orgasms are triggered by stimulating the clit or the ‘one o’clock’ position along either side of the labia or vulva.

1. Turn on the vibrator

Depending on your arousal levels and what you’re using to stimulate, it can take different amounts of time for an orgasm to happen. That’s why it’s important to create an environment that makes you feel attuned and at ease. For some, this may mean locking yourself in a room with a sexy playlist, for others, it may involve a steamy hot shower or masturbating with a partner.

Vibrators like NORMAL’s Piper can be used internally (to stimulate the clit, vulva and perineum) or externally, and can have multiple speeds with various vibration patterns that you can experiment with until you find what feels good for you. It’s also a good idea to start by warming up the body with manual stimulation, like stroking the breasts and nipples before turning on the toy, and slowly build up to more intense activities.

Fleming suggests starting by gently stimulating your body with the vibrator to get a sense of what and where it feels best, then moving on to penetrative pleasures by running the head of the toy against the front of the vagina and the G-spot, or the area around the labia. She adds that it’s a good idea to use lube to help the experience feel even more sexy.

2. Hold it against your clit

A vibrator can be used on any erogenous zone, but most people need to stimulate their clitoris directly to get an orgasm. This could include running the toy along the length of the clitoral hood, tapping it against the glans (head) of the clitoris or the vulva area. You can also use a wand-style vibrator to massage the G-spot (the inner part of your vaginal wall) and a bullet or ring-shaped vibrator to stimulate the labia minora or majora.

For many women, a clit is a gateway to other orgasms and the more they stimulate their clit, the more intense those orgasms can be. Some women even find they can orgasm more when edging, which is the practice of getting close to coming but backing off and building themselves back up to a powerful finish.

It’s important to communicate with your partner, especially when using a vibrator together, so you can both learn what feels good and what doesn’t. It may take time to figure out the perfect combination of pressure, friction and speed that makes orgasms happen.

3. Hold it against your vaginal opening

If your clit isn’t getting you all the way to an orgasm, try a different erogenous zone. The clitoral hood, the rim of skin that covers your clitoris, is another great spot for orgasms. Try a vibrator or a finger placed on that area to start, then move it around to find what feels good.

You can also try using a wand toy to stimulate your G-spot, a hot spot in the vaginal canal. Make sure your clit and the front of your vagina are lubricated before trying this technique. This will also add to the sensation of penetration, which some people find pleasurable.

If you’re in a romantic relationship, talk to your partner about what kind of stimulation feels best. Communicate throughout the experience, so you can try new positions and techniques that make both of you feel good. For example, you could insert a dildo vibe or G-spot and leave it in place while they give you oral sex; this will also provide additional orgasms. There’s no “women’s orgasm hierarchy,” but a good conversation will help you discover what works for you and your partner.

4. Hold it against your penis

As with all new sex toys, you might have to play around with it for awhile before you find your groove. This can be done alone (if you are comfortable doing so), or with a partner, who should be supportive of your exploration and should also know how to use the toy in a way that will enhance pleasure for both of you. Communicating openly about what feels good — and asking “does this feel good?” or, even better, “harder?” — can be an amazing way to bring up the ante and help you reach multiple orgasms in a session.

A lot of people assume that vibrators are just for the clitoris and vagina, but penis-havers should take note that they can get orgasms by using their vibrator on any erogenous zone. You can also tease the lower back, butt cheeks, and perineum for safe, indirect pleasure. Just make sure you are using lube that is compatible with your toy to reduce friction and discomfort. It will also increase the effects of the vibrations by helping with the release of mood-enhancing hormones like dopamine and oxytocin.

5. Hold it against your vulva

For some people, it’s hard to have an orgasm with a vibrator if they aren’t in the right place or mindset. If you’re too stressed, thinking about work or if you have kids running around, you might not enjoy the experience.

Likewise, if you’re attached to the idea that orgasms must be caused by your partner’s tongue or penis during intercourse, you might find it difficult to have an orgasm using a vibrator alone. Try different techniques and positions, and don’t be afraid to explore other erogenous zones on your body like the neck, inner thigh, breasts (and nipples) and lips.

Remember that it takes time to find the perfect settings and positions that feel good for you and your vulva. Give yourself a few sessions, and take your time in each session to make sure you’re comfortable with how it feels and the intensity. It’s also a good idea to use a good quality lubricant — it helps reduce friction between your skin and the surface of the toy, and it makes for a smoother, more pleasurable experience.