When a guy cancels a date by text, it can be difficult to navigate his motivations. According to licensed marriage and family therapist David Strah, there are four reasons why he may do this.
Regardless of the genuine reason, it is important to recognize these red flags. You do not want to get involved with a man who will treat you this way.
1. He is not interested
When a guy cancels your date it can be incredibly frustrating. You’ve been looking forward to it, have planned your outfit and even got your nails done just for the occasion – and then he pulls out! This is a huge disappointment and can really hurt, especially if it happens multiple times.
The first thing you need to understand is that it’s not always his fault. Sometimes, things can go wrong that are out of his control or he’s simply not interested. This is why it’s important to be polite and understanding when it comes to cancellations as well as trying to find out more about his reasons for pulling out of a date.
It is also worth considering how certain these plans were when they were made and whether he had an urgent meeting, family emergency or work meeting that he was expecting to attend. If he had no other commitments and was not planning on seeing anyone else that evening, it’s likely he’s just not that into you.
If this is the case, a simple and respectful response can make him feel bad about canceling without making you feel upset or rejected. You can then take the initiative and suggest another date in the future. By doing this, you can show him that you are mature and responsible and that you do not take his cancellations lightly.
2. He is being led on
You probably know this already, but you might not realize it: if the guy cancels your date on a regular basis without giving any reason, he may be leading you on. The only way to find out if he is being untruthful or not is by observing his behavior in other situations. For example, does he suddenly text you when the date is approaching that he has something urgent to do? He might not want to hurt your feelings, but if he does this frequently, it shows that you are not important enough for him.
You should also pay attention to how he feels about the cancellation. If he seems disappointed, it could be a sign that he actually cares about you. However, if he does not seem upset about the cancellation and just acts like it was no big deal, that is a clear sign that you are not high on his priority list.
If you feel that he is leading you on, it is time to put your foot down. You can either tell him that you are not interested in him or you can try to salvage the situation by asking him to reschedule. In either case, make sure to respond in a calm and cool manner. A fiery response can destroy the chances of getting to see him again.
3. He is genuinely sorry
When a guy genuinely apologizes for something he’s done, he doesn’t make excuses or try to justify it. He knows that words alone are not enough to earn your forgiveness, so he tries to change his ways and show you that he’s sorry.
For example, he may tell you that he’s been having some family problems lately and that’s why he had to cancel your date. He may also promise to never do it again and ask for your forgiveness. This is a good sign that he’s apologetic and he doesn’t want to hurt you.
Another way to see if a guy is genuinely sorry is if he doesn’t make the same mistake again. He’s trying to avoid the same situation because he realizes that it was a mistake and he shouldn’t have let you down.
In addition, he doesn’t try to excuse his behavior by saying that he was busy or that something urgent came up. He takes responsibility for his actions and admits that he’s wrong. If he tries to justify his behavior, that’s a sign that he isn’t truly sorry and that he’ll probably do it again in the future. He’s not taking you seriously. That’s not something that you should accept in a relationship. In the end, he should be willing to reschedule your dates as soon as he can.
4. He wants to reschedule
He may be genuinely interested in you and just wanted to give you a chance. He may have had a better offer or maybe another girl just got more into him at that time. Whatever the reason is he may want to reschedule the date to make it up for you.
If he does not reschedule the date but continues to text you then it is important that you take a step back from the situation. This is because he may be trying to see how you respond to his cancellation and not wanting to let it go too far.
This can also be a sign that he is not really sure about whether he wants to go on the date or not. If he continues to cancel without rescheduling then it is likely that he has other dating options and that you are not a priority for him at this point.
If he does reschedule the date and it works out then that is great! You should be able to tell by the tone of his text how he feels about you. If it is a more casual text then that can be an indication that he does not genuinely like you or at least not enough to go on a second date. If it is a very sweet and caring text then it is a good indicator that he does like you and just needed to cancel for a good reason.
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