What Happens on the Third Date? (In Online Chat Dating)

Megan Becker
2025-05-16

In the era of online dating, the third date is still a milestone - even if it happens virtually or begins through messages and video calls. While some women may already be considering exclusivity by this point, for many men, it’s still a phase of exploration and comfort-building.

1. Deepening the Connection

By the third interaction - whether through video chat, voice call, or live messaging - you’ve likely uncovered more than just surface-level interests. You're texting more frequently, and perhaps you've discussed favorite books, weekend habits, or family dynamics.

Use this opportunity to do something engaging together online. Watch a documentary simultaneously, take a virtual museum tour, or share playlists. These activities help reveal emotional reactions and compatibility, even without physical presence.

Different date expextation

If your match suggests something playful or slightly out of your comfort zone - like sharing childhood photos or answering flirty questions - it may be a sign that intimacy is on their mind. But always pace your comfort levels and set clear boundaries.

2. Building Romantic Chemistry

At this point, virtual chemistry may start to form. You’re sharing more laughs, exchanging memes or inside jokes, and perhaps spending longer sessions on video calls. A shy smile or blushing emoji may indicate mutual attraction without pressure.

You might feel the urge to express affection - sending heart emojis or even suggesting a virtual kiss. It’s perfectly okay if things stay sweet and subtle. Emotional intimacy grows in stages, especially when separated by screens.

3. Evaluating Compatibility

For many daters, the third interaction is when they begin asking themselves: “Is this someone I want to keep talking to?” Rather than rushing into exclusivity or planning to meet in person, this is your chance to observe consistency, communication style, and emotional maturity.

Beware of external pressure - such as outdated expectations that something romantic or physical must happen by the third date. True connection doesn't follow rules. Focus on whether your values align and if conversations feel natural and reciprocal.

4. Considering Future Steps

If the chemistry is solid, the third date might inspire you to plan your first in-person meeting - or at least schedule regular video calls. For others, it may signal that you’re better off as friends. That’s perfectly okay, too.

Some conversations may naturally shift toward long-term values like career goals, lifestyle expectations, or even topics like family planning or political views. These deeper talks, when approached with openness, help determine long-term potential.

“Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.”

— Lao Tzu, Goodreads

Final Thoughts

The third date - virtual or not - isn’t a deadline, it’s a checkpoint. Avoid assumptions, respect emotional pace, and prioritize honest communication. Every connection is unique, and in the world of online dating, patience often leads to genuine love.

FAQ: First dates after Online Chatting

Is the third date a turning point in online dating?

Yes, the third date often signals a shift from casual conversation to deeper emotional connection. In online dating, it's when many begin to assess long-term compatibility, discuss exclusivity, or move from text to video calls or in-person meetings.

Should I expect physical intimacy on the third date?

There’s no rule for physical intimacy on the third date. While some couples naturally become closer, others take more time. The key is mutual comfort, clear communication, and avoiding pressure. Respect your pace and that of your date.

What are good third date ideas for online dating connections?

Great third date ideas include activities that allow for relaxed conversation, such as a museum visit, a scenic walk, or a cooking class. For online-first couples, a casual video chat over coffee or a shared online game night can build intimacy safely.

How do I know if they want something serious by the third date?

Watch for signs like deeper questions, consistent communication, and interest in your future goals. If your match talks about exclusivity or suggests meeting friends, they may be open to something more serious. Always ask directly for clarity.

What if I’m not feeling chemistry by the third date?

Lack of chemistry by the third date isn’t unusual. If emotional connection or attraction isn’t growing, it’s okay to step back. Respectfully communicate your feelings, and remember: it’s better to be honest than to lead someone on.

How can I prepare for a successful third date?

To make the most of your third date, be present, listen actively, and focus on shared interests. Choose an activity that fosters connection but keeps things light. Stay true to yourself and communicate openly about comfort and boundaries.

Is it normal to feel nervous before the third date?

Absolutely. Feeling nervous is common as expectations rise around the third date. It often reflects that you care about the outcome. Take a few deep breaths, stay grounded, and remember that meaningful connections are built through honesty, not perfection.