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What Should Happen on a Second Date?

Your first date went pretty well, so you’re thinking that your second date will be just as good. However, there are some things that you should avoid doing on a second date.

For example, getting handsy is okay on a first date but not on a second one. It could make your date feel uncomfortable and needy.

1. Keep it low-key

It’s tempting to reveal a lot more about yourself on your second date, but it is important not to do so until your date feels comfortable with you doing so. For example, it’s okay to ask if they are comfortable holding hands or sitting close, but don’t push them until they communicate they want to do so.

If you feel like the conversation is going well, it may be appropriate to bring up topics from your first date. However, be careful not to overdo it or you might come across as too much of a stalker. In addition, bringing up too many of these topics can also be overwhelming for your date and make them feel like you’re pushing too hard.

The second date is an excellent time to pump up the romance by doing something intimate, such as taking a stroll in a botanical garden and listening to live music together. This is sure to get those heart-pounding endorphins flowing and help you bond with your date. It’s also a good time to try something that is a little out of the ordinary, as this will show your date that you are adventurous and willing to step outside your comfort zone.

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2. Don’t talk about your ex

A second date can be a major inflection point in a relationship, so it’s important to consider the expectations you have for the next step. For instance, if your first date was friendly and you don’t expect to get romantic on the second date, it’s worth clarifying that before setting up your plans.

Similarly, if your date brought up an ex on your first date and continues to talk about their past relationships on the second date, it’s likely a red flag that they aren’t ready to move on. “If someone can’t talk about their ex in a mature way, it’s probably best to move on,” Whitbourne says.

Additionally, if you notice your date raising their voice or being rude to a server on the second date, it’s a good time to speak up about what bothers you and why it’s important for you to feel comfortable. Negative self-talk doesn’t change the outcome of your date, but it will make you feel worse about the experience and may affect your future decisions. It’s better to be upfront than to ignore a red flag and end up in a toxic relationship.

3. Bring up something from the first date

If your first date went well, your date may want to take things further. This is a good sign, especially if he doesn’t expect sex on the second date—it shows that he cares enough to give it another shot. However, if the first date didn’t go as planned (or, in his mind, he thinks he was better), it’s important to communicate clearly to him if you’re not interested in giving this relationship a chance.

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You should talk about things that haven’t been discussed on your first date, but keep it light and fun. For instance, talking about your mutual interests, like music and movies, can lead to interesting conversations. You can also ask him questions about his family—it’s a great way to get to know someone. Plus, research shows that people who talk about their families are generally considered to be more attractive than those who don’t.

4. Don’t assume that you’re a couple

When you’re on your second date, it might be tempting to assume that you and your date are a couple. But don’t fall into that trap!

It’s important to remember that the goal of your second date is to learn more about one another. That means avoiding topics that are too personal, like your past or self-doubts. And it also means avoiding activities that are too distracting, such as movies or noisy sports events.

Depending on the situation, your second date may be a great time to initiate some physical affection. But make sure to be respectful of her comfort level and only move forward if she seems ready.

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If the second date goes well, then it might be a good idea to talk about the future. But if the connection isn’t there or you don’t feel like you’re on the same page, then it’s okay to call it quits. Don’t punish yourself by staying with someone you don’t really want to be with. It’s much better to find out early than to waste time on a relationship that doesn’t work out.

5. Don’t ask for a third date

Even if the second date goes really well, it’s not a given that she will want to see you again. She may need a little time to process it and decide how she feels about you.

You can still flirt and take her out, but don’t force it. If you’re going to kiss her, wait until she initiates it or says she is ready for it.

The second date is an excellent opportunity to learn more about her. Ask her about her interests and goals, and don’t be afraid to share something personal about yourself. But be careful not to reveal too much, especially about your past or self-doubts.

This is also the perfect time to gauge her general outlook on life. If she is always complaining or pessimistic, you might not have a good fit with her. At the very least, you’ll know if she’s worth spending more time with. If not, that’s okay too. You’ll find someone who is more suited to you. Just don’t be too hung up on getting a third date.